Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
I just stubbed my toe in front of a little kid. That led to this:
Top 4 Sunday Kind of Swears!
Ron Burgundy
Little Ralphie
Samir!
Casey Kasem (?!?)
May your Sunday involve as little profanity as possible!
Top 10 Commercial Pitches
A fool and his money are soon parted. As a fairly wise cheapskate, me and my presidents have traveled pretty tight. But every once in a while, I let myself watch commercials. And every once in a while...there are temptations: both because I appreciate a good pitch and do like the idea of slapping my troubles away.
The top 10 tempting commercials I've remembered or seen or heard recently.
(1) Gold for Cash? I do find gold gaudy and cash compelling. Especially when I'm being shouted at and hammer-pants are involved.
(2) ShamWOW! You'll be saying...Wow. Such rapid fire awesome.
(3) I want candy! This one is most likely to come to mind whenever I hear people counting.
(4) This is another one that is subtle. Sometimes when my housemate is gassy, I feel the urge to break out some lozenges.
(5) HULU! I watch ridiculous amounts of Hulu programming and have only seen slowdowns ever since they began advertising on TV. Sad, but I understand their need to be useful to more people than just me.
(6) Sobe Lean! I used to drink an assortment of Sobe products. I found a mixtape of recorded radio that also had this commercial on it the other day. It tasted awful, and didn't go well with hamburgers at all, really.
(7) I actually missed the Superbowl and its commercials this year, but I appreciated the CareerBuilder efforts after the fact.
(8) I find talking babies ever so slightly disturbing...I don't know if they make me more or less likely to trade electronically.
(9) You're gonna love my nuts! Back from number 2, a second offering from Vince Offer: the Slap Chop!
(10) Favorite Spanish Commecial: SPANISH SHAMWOW! Cuidado con imitaciones!
The top 10 tempting commercials I've remembered or seen or heard recently.
(1) Gold for Cash? I do find gold gaudy and cash compelling. Especially when I'm being shouted at and hammer-pants are involved.
(2) ShamWOW! You'll be saying...Wow. Such rapid fire awesome.
(3) I want candy! This one is most likely to come to mind whenever I hear people counting.
(4) This is another one that is subtle. Sometimes when my housemate is gassy, I feel the urge to break out some lozenges.
(5) HULU! I watch ridiculous amounts of Hulu programming and have only seen slowdowns ever since they began advertising on TV. Sad, but I understand their need to be useful to more people than just me.
(6) Sobe Lean! I used to drink an assortment of Sobe products. I found a mixtape of recorded radio that also had this commercial on it the other day. It tasted awful, and didn't go well with hamburgers at all, really.
(7) I actually missed the Superbowl and its commercials this year, but I appreciated the CareerBuilder efforts after the fact.
(8) I find talking babies ever so slightly disturbing...I don't know if they make me more or less likely to trade electronically.
(9) You're gonna love my nuts! Back from number 2, a second offering from Vince Offer: the Slap Chop!
(10) Favorite Spanish Commecial: SPANISH SHAMWOW! Cuidado con imitaciones!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Top 10 People We Don't Know
Depending on your media sources, the "25 random things" meme has been either praised as beautiful and compelling or lambasted as another irritation confirming our status in this day and age as egocentric me-monkeys. Frankly, any confessional list that I would send to both my colleagues and my family members would surely involve only outlandish lies so as not to yield potential worlds colliding. But I am an enigmatic sort with no true self to be known to everyone.
Apparently, I am not alone. Thus we present the aggregate of the top 10 people we don't know.
(1) Dorrito Guy: Maybe he loves the flavor of beer. Maybe he just wishes his fingers were less orange after the fact. Either way:
(2) Animated Tyra Banks: What does she watch on tv? Does she really like sweets? How does she deal with her recent weight issues?
(3) Tony Soprano: Is it true that you started out a small town girl, living in a lonely world?
(4) Felix Leiter: Sure, I know that you can tell Bond about American customs, but what else? How are you as important as James? Justify your existance!
(5) Michael Jackson: Are you his surrogate mother?
(6) Are you Reverend Wright calling out Barack Obama on posturing back in '08? You don't know what Barack is cooking.
(7) Or are you Barack Obama trying to distance yourself from controversial acquaintances?
(8) Or John McCain, lamenting not posting his 25 random things sooner?
(9) Liz Lemon: Man-eater. Lest we forget people we think we know but obviously do not know (...but maybe actually do sort of know).
(10) And finally, Diddy. When there are so many names, it can get confusing. My government name is Awesome. Please to enjoy a side of awesome.
Apparently, I am not alone. Thus we present the aggregate of the top 10 people we don't know.
(1) Dorrito Guy: Maybe he loves the flavor of beer. Maybe he just wishes his fingers were less orange after the fact. Either way:
(2) Animated Tyra Banks: What does she watch on tv? Does she really like sweets? How does she deal with her recent weight issues?
(3) Tony Soprano: Is it true that you started out a small town girl, living in a lonely world?
(4) Felix Leiter: Sure, I know that you can tell Bond about American customs, but what else? How are you as important as James? Justify your existance!
(5) Michael Jackson: Are you his surrogate mother?
(6) Are you Reverend Wright calling out Barack Obama on posturing back in '08? You don't know what Barack is cooking.
(7) Or are you Barack Obama trying to distance yourself from controversial acquaintances?
(8) Or John McCain, lamenting not posting his 25 random things sooner?
(9) Liz Lemon: Man-eater. Lest we forget people we think we know but obviously do not know (...but maybe actually do sort of know).
(10) And finally, Diddy. When there are so many names, it can get confusing. My government name is Awesome. Please to enjoy a side of awesome.
Work is Obviously the Main Course
Welcome to side of awesome, home of all the awesome things that aren't necessarily part of the main course.
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