Top 10 People We Don't Know

Depending on your media sources, the "25 random things" meme has been either praised as beautiful and compelling or lambasted as another irritation confirming our status in this day and age as egocentric me-monkeys. Frankly, any confessional list that I would send to both my colleagues and my family members would surely involve only outlandish lies so as not to yield potential worlds colliding. But I am an enigmatic sort with no true self to be known to everyone.

Apparently, I am not alone. Thus we present the aggregate of the top 10 people we don't know.


(1) Dorrito Guy: Maybe he loves the flavor of beer. Maybe he just wishes his fingers were less orange after the fact. Either way:


(2) Animated Tyra Banks: What does she watch on tv? Does she really like sweets? How does she deal with her recent weight issues?


(3) Tony Soprano: Is it true that you started out a small town girl, living in a lonely world?


(4) Felix Leiter: Sure, I know that you can tell Bond about American customs, but what else? How are you as important as James? Justify your existance!

(5) Michael Jackson: Are you his surrogate mother?


(6) Are you Reverend Wright calling out Barack Obama on posturing back in '08? You don't know what Barack is cooking.


(7) Or are you Barack Obama trying to distance yourself from controversial acquaintances?


(8) Or John McCain, lamenting not posting his 25 random things sooner?


(9) Liz Lemon: Man-eater. Lest we forget people we think we know but obviously do not know (...but maybe actually do sort of know).


(10) And finally, Diddy. When there are so many names, it can get confusing. My government name is Awesome. Please to enjoy a side of awesome.